I didn’t tell many people I was applying to study abroad.
Not because I was hiding it — I just didn’t want to explain.
What if I didn’t get in? What if the visa got rejected? What if I wasn’t the kind of person who belongs in places like Europe?
So I kept it quiet.
Only my parents knew. A few close friends.
And Mr. Shaif Ahamed — the one who made it all feel possible.
The Day It Got Real
I still remember the moment I got my visa.
Printed paper. Black ink. A simple approval.
I stared at it for a long time.
It didn’t feel like excitement. Not yet.
It felt like the silence between two chapters — when you close one page, but haven’t turned to the next.
I didn’t celebrate.
I packed slowly.
One bag. Some clothes. A new life I wasn’t sure I was ready for.
The Flight From Noakhali Felt Longer Than the One to Dublin
Leaving Noakhali meant leaving my room. My routine. The familiar way the ceiling fan creaked when the power came back.
No farewell party. No dramatic goodbye.
Just me in a window seat, thinking too much, staring at clouds.
I landed in Dublin with tired eyes and a quiet heart.
The first thing I noticed?
No noise.
Not just in the air — in my head.
The city moved gently. Like it didn’t need to prove anything to anyone.
The Room That Wasn’t Mine (But Would Be)
My student accommodation was clean, calm, cold.
I opened the window. A soft breeze came in.
I sat on the bed and didn’t say anything. Just listened.
To the radiator ticking.
To distant footsteps in the hallway.
To the newness of it all.
My First Class Wasn’t About Books
The professor didn’t ask about grades or documents.
He asked:
“What do you want to do when you leave here?”
And I didn’t have a perfect answer.
But I spoke. Slowly. Clearly. Honestly.
Nobody laughed. Nobody looked confused.
They listened.
And just like that, I didn’t feel small.
Ireland Didn’t Welcome Me Loudly. It Just Gently Let Me In.
The weather was grey, but not sad.
People smiled at bus stops.
My classmates remembered my name after the first week.
No one cared where I was from — and somehow, that made me feel like I belonged.
I started walking more.
Thinking more.
Trusting myself more.
Mr. Shaif Never Promised a Perfect Life — Just a Real One
I remember one thing he told me, on a phone call just before I left:
“You’ll be nervous, and that’s okay. But you’ll figure it out. And I’ll still be here when you do.”
He didn’t rush me. He didn’t sugarcoat.
He listened. Guided. Encouraged.
He helped me find the right university, the right course — and more importantly, the courage to believe I deserved to be there.
And Now?
Now I walk to class under a sky I used to see only in wallpapers.
I take notes in a language I once felt shy speaking.
I shake hands with people from countries I used to Google.
And some nights, I sit quietly in my room, thinking:
“How far I’ve come. From Noakhali. From doubt. From fear.”
I don’t know where I’ll go next.
But I know I’ve started.
And that’s everything.
To Anyone Reading This…
If you’re unsure…
If your district feels small…
If your dreams feel too big…
Just know: I made it
And you can too.